As of October 27th, 2013 Vander Blue is not on an
NBA roster. The former Marquette basketball player was waived by the 76ers on
October 24th. About one month ago, when Blue was signed by
Philadelphia I made a bet with one of my friends late on a Saturday night. Yes
the bet was made after I was downing the extremely manly drink that is Red’s Apple
Ale (hey anything is manly compared to my favorite drink, Four Loko). Slurring
my words, and probably in between comments about my newfound fetish for Latina
women, I proclaimed that if Vander made the 76ers I would type up an apology
letter and send it to him on Twitter. See I openly bash Vander every time someone
brings up his name. “But if he doesn’t make the team I’ll create a letter
bashing him and send it to him on Twitter”. So here is that letter. I will
happily be the voice of the upset Marquette basketball fan who is still mad at Blue’s departure. If you do not believe that I will send it to him, by all
means follow me on Twitter(@KapN93) and see for yourself. Here we go folks.
This should be fun!
Dear Vander Orange,
Yeah
that’s right I said Vander Orange. Do I still get free tuition if you punch me
in the face? So what is up my man? Another team, another time you have been
cut. Regretting that decision now are ya? I’m sure you are not. You never
wanted to be here in the first place.
What boggles my mind is why you left?
Were you not thinking rationally? You + Buzz + team he assembled= chance at
Final Four. How hard is that to understand?
“Aw man this is just another hater.” Yes sir (I
have no idea why I called you sir) I am a hater. Your number one hater. See
unlike you I am going to be up to my eyeballs in debt after leaving this
school. Unlike you I will have a degree. You know what I probably won’t have,
the ability to say that my team won a national championship while I was here.
I
was eating Dogg Haus, you remember the place where you would find your…never mind.
Anyways I was at Dogg Haus and I was thinking about what the celebration would
have been like if you guys won a championship. Nobody would have to go to classes
for like a week (not that you went to class anyways). You would be seen as a
god for the rest of your life. Let me explain that in terms you would
understand. Everybody would treat you like freshmen girls treated you.
You are
probably thinking that females will treat you like that for the rest of your
life anyways. This is true, but the difference is that if you stayed it would be
American women, not the European women you will surround yourself with for the
rest of your playing career. Don’t worry I hear European basketball is just the
same as the NBA. Just imagine, you can be known as the LeBron James of
Luxembourg.
Oh Vander Vander Vander. I will never understand why a
twenty one year old kid would leave school prematurely to see if he could make
the NBA when he clearly is not talented enough.
What’s sad is that in five years from now, that incoming
freshman class will probably never know your miserable tale. Well maybe you
could tell them if you come relive the glory days, lurking outside Dogg Haus.
To be honest, I would not be surprised to hear that you did that.
Take care man.
But before I finish I have a piece of advice for you.
Go to Walgreens to get your passport photo taken. I hear
they have great deals on that stuff.
Sincerely,
I Told You So
Have a love for Vander Blue and hate that Nick is bashing him? Leave a comment under the link on Facebook.
Follow Nick on Twitter: @KapN93
Nick hosts The Sports ReKap every Tuesday 3:00-4:30 CT on MarquetteRadio.org with DJ Vogt
Look for more blog posts coming soon.
Follow Nick on Twitter: @KapN93
Nick hosts The Sports ReKap every Tuesday 3:00-4:30 CT on MarquetteRadio.org with DJ Vogt
Look for more blog posts coming soon.
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